yo all...duno y suddenly comin back to this..but who cares la.
its been 3 days since it happened....the inevitable...the unbelievable.
she called...and told me sth which i dreaded so much to hear.her mum wants her to end it.she had no choice.
first i tot it was a nightmare..a dream.but my state of denial could not last thru the night, and tears fell full flow the nxt day.
went to see her as soon as i could, and we talked in the dark hall. tears could not stop flowing, and all i could do is to fight back all my tears, put up a strong front, and comfort the girl i hold so dear.
her decision came, and it came like a sledgehammer into my face. she wanted to stop, she wanted to break. atleast til after 'a's she said.
I told her i'll wait, as long as she longs for it. i'll hold everything we treasured, and we can continue this love of ours when the time's right. i'll treat her as though this never happen, and bear with the absence of the good mornings and the good nights..jus to be with her. I'll do everything...as long as she wants it.
confused, she said she was. time, she needed. alot of time. she wanted to make the right choice. she wanted to be fair to me, to herself. that i cannot blame, for i was perturbed as well. how did we end up the way we are, having hugged and joked w each other less than 24hrs ago? how could a flower which was really starting to blossom after a long patient gestation, wither to non-existence almost at the blink of an eye? how can night turn to day as quickly as i can say "oh no" ? impossible...impossible...impossible.
as we depart, all i could feel was endless sorrow, and the tears i've been holding back gushed out like reservoir of a collapsed dam. what am i to do? friends say i should stand up. friends say i should do what she said and let it go, start afresh. friends say i should wait. friends say...but what am i to do?
the sad thing is not the outcome of this disaster in my heart, but rather the damned way it had to end..if it ended with either one of us regretting this relationship, atleast i can find solace in the fact this relationship is not meant to be..but now...
I'll wait for you my love...even if you have to move to the states straight after your 'A's, i'll still wait for you till you really leave. By then the regret will be from me, but atleast i tried. I'll wait regardless of your answer...even if you dont think i'll be the guy you want to see at the end up this year, i'll try to win your heart all over again. I'l wait my love...as long as you tell me to.
all i wanted was an answer...and you gave me nothing of that sort for days. my worst fears are confirmed..you have indeed moved on, and so shall i, i guess. no hunter will wait by the empty rabbit hole when the rabbit has already moved into another hole. though part of the hunter will hope the rabbit returns to the hole he has been waiting upon, the hunter will sooner or later move on, searching for another hole for his hunger cannot always be suppressed by his mind. all i wanted was an answer...