wat a boring day.if i'm not wrong.7 more days left of freedom before i begin my confinement in tekong.argh! actually, fear doesn't grip me that much, its the notion that physical suffering and torment's gonna be my bread and butter for the next 2 years that sux...cos after suffering mentally for so long...now i have to suffer physically too. gues its part and parcel of being a singaporean sia...
den again...its not really the suffering that sux..its living up to expectation that really kills me.my own expectations.if i wanna look at NS as a 2 year chalet, i sure can live thru it.but i want my army life to be a very fulfilling and rewarding one (meaning...specialist or OCS lor..) hence i have to perform to reach that..and to live up to my own expectation, let alone the expectation of the officers, is sth i dun realli look forward to.
not that i'm being a wussy now and stuff...its just that i'm totally NOT sure what i wanna do in uni..and that normally means i'll sign on in NS for a couple of years and earn a small amount b4 moving on.how will i do that if i'm not an officer?my dad's an army officer...my cousins are officers or SISPEC graduates...i can't be a truck driver now, can i? so now u understand my worries abt NS? i'm sure u do..
come to think of it...what am i gonna do in uni? its no longer like in sec school or JC, where a different sub combi only means different classes and prob different syllabus, but u still graduate with your cert and u are open to a huge array of choices in uni.uni's the last step in this education ladder (for most ppl la atleast) and there's no more luxury in making silly choices and sitting down over coffee months later to complain, cos what i choose now affects how much i can possibly earn in the near future..and that means the quality of my life and that of my family.darn..can't make up my mind now...honestly.
was thinkin abt psychology or sociology since i love to hang around people (and NOT to sell sth to them) and talk to them..and this kinda job allows me to understand different people, sth which i've always found myself doing.good idea? not too sure...engineering sounds like a very possible choice too...but do i realli wanna work my arse over maths and physics for the remainder of my life?
haiz...this sux.in any case, the NTU talk is on the 8th of jan...and that's the time where people attend talks to actually understand what to choose rite? guess not! 8th of jan i'm on my way to tekong! darn...y can't dey make it on the 7th instead?
oh well..i'm gettin worked up for nothin again.haha.i really need sth to drink.who's that "u love me so much" guy anyway? care to leave a name? and to weijie, yeah going realli soon sia! u lucky dick..go organize an outin or sth leh...last one b4 we leave for army.haha.
oh sux...i'm off to drink liao..some party downstairs's calling! peace ~!
after so long, i still dream of "what ifs"..can't get myself to stop thinkin of possibilities..even though they are possibilities made impossible already.u mean more to me than u can imagine, n whoever said guys take 2 days to forget is totally wrong.i miss you...